Collective Unconscious

Nothing could have stopped us then.

Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now lyrics, in the past tense. Well, in my past tense. And this is a work of meaningless experiment. Don’t assume :P

Looking in your eyes I saw a paradise
That world that I found was too good to be true
Standing there beside you, wanted so much to give you
The love in my heart that I was feeling for you

We let them say we’re crazy, we kinda cared ‘bout that
Put your hand in my hand baby, but you always looked back
You didn’t let the world around us just fall apart
Baby, we could have made it if we’re heart to heart

And we could have built that dream together, standing strong forever
Nothing should have stopped us then
And if this world runs out of lovers, we’ll still have each other but only still as friends
Nothing should have stopped us, nothing should have stopped us then.

I was so glad I found you, I wasn’t gonna lose you
Whatever it took, I’d have stayed here with you
Took it to the good times, but we didn’t see it through the bad times
Whatever it took is what I was gonna do

We let them say we’re crazy, what do they know
Put your arms around me baby, but you let me go
We didn’t let the world around us just fall apart
Baby, we could have made it if we’re heart to heart

And we could have built that dream together, standing strong forever
Nothing should have stopped us then
And if this world runs out of lovers, we’ll still have each other but only still as friends
Nothing should have stopped us, nothing should have stopped us then.

Ooh, all that I needed was you
All that I ever needed
And all that I wanted to do
was hold you forever, forever and ever

And we could have built that dream together, standing strong forever
Nothing should have stopped us then
And if this world runs out of lovers, we’ll still have each other but only still as friends
Nothing should have stopped us, nothing should have stopped us then.

You’re never fully sure of who you are or what your life really is.

But the more you strive to conquer this uncertainty, the more you know about yourself. Also the more you realize the gaping hole of the same uncertainty getting bigger and bigger as you go along.

When you are a child, you might dream about becoming a teacher, an astronaut, a housewife, a doctor, anything you want to be. You grow up and it’s either you march on with the same dream as your goal or you realize the better options there are in the world for you. But neither path gives you the fullness of your life at present and ahead of you. You keep discovering things you never thought you’d come across. You meet people you’re surprised to like or hate or understand. The world has so much to offer, a wide array of possibilities, chances, options; and though you might not take all of them with you on your journey, they affect you in ways.

This is not morbid, actually it’s a positive thing to say, that you fully become YOU only when you die. You’re that 100% of the person you have fought so hard (or so easily) while you were living when you’re already dead. You’re yourself’s unchanging entirety of you own definition only when you’re not living anymore. Your living soul and body is an enhanced draft for each and every day you still wake up in the morning (or noon, or afternoon, or night, or midnight, you get me). The final manuscript’s only finished when you stop breathing. That’s why biographies are mostly published after someone’s death. It’ll be hard updating them books when the person’s still living.

So make this uncertainty an advantage. You never box yourself, and you shall not attempt this. And you shall not let others do this. You are always capable of change. But let it be for the better. Don’t hesitate to healthily experiment. Always strive to fill that gaping hole of uncertainty and don’t let its depth, emptiness, and eeriness terrify you.

You are what you have always been, but you’re always so much more.

Another one of those nights

I need to sleep.

I’ve already done my ‘rituals’ before sleeping, done all schoolwork due tomorrow (or later), but I am still up, awake, and with thoughts and ideas just coming out of me.

This, blogging, would have happened more often only if we had internet at the condo. But then I’m not so sure if it would have been beneficial or not if that were the case.

Just this ‘Add a Text Post’ staring at my face and my ‘emo’ iTunes playlist sparking off even more inspiration to write something almost nonsensical (‘emo’ iTunes to be explained in another future post)

I thought I’d have myself focus more on the ‘practical’ things (see I don’t really consider this release of musings practical to me, see I was reared to always think of practicality, but then see if I have given in to that rearing I wouldn’t be pursuing being an artist, so, good luck analysing all things I’ve said within the parentheses) if I become busy with those things consequently. But I was wrong (if I were right, I wouldn’t have used ‘I thought’ at the beginning of the sentence). The more I try to concentrate myself on the ‘general practicality of life’, the more do I feel the LACK, the desire, and the need to get away from it all. I am happy and sad at the same time and indefinite varying degrees that 3 units of Philosophy have contributed a LOT in this constant realization and necessity to be ‘madrama’ at times in my life (I remember being like this as early as 9 years old, with ponderings even heightened up by my listening to Norah Jones’ album Come Away with me on repeat, alone in my parents’ bedroom).

I have cried for no specific narrowed-down reason earlier this quarter of year (bear with my specific ambiguities). I knew it was normal (at least for someone like me?). I knew I had a tough year (not so tough but hard enough to have made me cry) and I just had to let it out even for once. I needed to be weak to be strong. I’ve associated refraining from crying as a strength: not because crying makes me weak but the ability or power to stop myself from crying is already something to make me believe I’m strong. But somehow I knew I needed the tears to prove me a point. That unknown point, that now seems meaningful and helpful to me.

Now I do not know where my post is going again (I make up the ‘main argument or theme’ in my posts along the way or when I’m forced to do so as circumstances require me to finish). At the end of the previous paragraph I thought of all the people who have helped me get through in all ways possible ‘this quarter of year’. So maybe this post is to thank those people. Thank you.

You can see my post ending as Trish arrives and I am to give her back her Smartbro stick. thanks, Trish!

And do not try to see me as Mo Twister having an emotional breakdown (if it’s what happened…Idk what really happened, just thought it was cool to mention this).

And yes people I am okay. Blame my Philo prof Dr. Garcia if you’re suddenly worried about me.

(I do not intend to read this post once more, I will only find no cohesion and coherence).

I like smelling pentel pens. And gasoline. :|

I’m a weirdo, yes. But at least I know some other people who like the same.

I’m not a fan of silly bands.

-I do not like the feeling of something unequally wrapped around my wrist.

-I hate my “balahibo” being stuck there

-I sometimes (many times actually) have a hard time figuring out what shape those silly bands are.

I am broke.

No money. And my financier, AKA NANAY, will not be giving me any more money. Heartbreak. I should have bought the 8GB Flash Drive instead, much cheaper. :| HUHU.

I am a production manager.

I am a production manager.

Mainggit kayo.

Mainis kayo. Kaso ako naiinis na.

Oh well. This is the life of production people.

PERO YAKA LANG YAN. Ako pa.

Can I just say that I’m actually having a hard time picking a “no teeth smile”.

I’ve been practicing with some smiles but sometimes they only look good in Photobooth or when I look at myself smiling in the mirror.

Just sayin’. ;)

I guess I’m in some kind of relationship right now.

Though not official. :P

I watched Rosario last night, Trinoma Cinema 2.

I was the only one who clapped when the movie ended. :|

What is wrong with me / What is wrong with those people.